Movies with camera phone

I started filming with my camera phone and putting footage together to form something that is watchable.

The process is rather filled with unknown and uncertain. At first i have a visual image of what i want to record. When i started to record more and more footage that i thought will be interesting. Then i put them together, cut certain shots, zoom in and out, re-positioning. The funny thing is that i have no idea what's the theme is about but i am guided and inspired by the footage and the music for the theme.



'Whole' is shot at Sembawang beach, It's a small beach but rather crowded. 

The relationship hole

Relationships are not meant to fill in the hole but to add to the whole of who you already are.

In the past, I was unconscious mistaken by relationships and unconsciously using it to fill in the 'hole' or the sense of lack with my partner. Of course, there's true love involved but the ego's sense of control tends to creep in. The ego mind creates a sense of unsatisfied, lacking, fear of loss, jealousy and so on. Soon afterwards, you will be demanding on how your partner should be/should be not in order to satisfy you. True love comes from the acceptance of your partner. I only realized it after the loss.

We have built bigger shopping malls, bigger playground, desire to be more and more attractive... all for the sake of filling in or covering up the deep sense of loss/lack. We want to gain more and more; more friends, more connections, more knowledge, becoming more enlightenment...There's nothing wrong with learning unless you are using it to be 'more'. We often use distractions to fill in the hole that will always be unfilled.There's why we are always doing and seeking to escape looking inwards.

The mind tends to be always convey thoughts of lack. The lack can comes from comparing yourself to someone else. "She has more friends than me, he is more talented than me." or " i have nothing". These thoughts are illusion of gain and loss but they felt real because of the emotions that comes with these thoughts. You feel 'good' when you have more than the other person. That's why we often craves to be 'more' so we can feel good about ourselves. It's not about growing anymore, it's about having power to control, having the power to be above everyone.

There's only the joy in learning, exploring and creating. There's no ' I do it so that i can be above someone '. Passion is joy.

The thinker

The thinker's functions is to analyse and conceptise - thinking. The thinker can't experience any feelings/emotions.

The Experiencer is the one that is aware of the thinker's functions. The Experiencer is the one that feels and experience.

When the thinker stops its' function, the Experiencer becomes aware of itself. The Experiencer has realized his/her true identify.

The thinker is just the surface of the river, the Experiencer is the depth of the river.

My only one film

I been doing this one film for around 5 months.

Recently i felt i wasn't going anywhere with this film. I had doubt with myself, with my ability. Fear arise soon afterwards and i was thinking to drop this film. Perhaps i should go to a film school to study film. Later on, i realized that it's my fear that is stopping me. Like every person, i fears failure. I afraid that my film will disappoint.

After the realization, the fear and the worries dissolves. It does seem that every setback is teaching you something and perhaps even giving you greater power to continue on your path. 

Seeking for enlightenment

I can say that enlightenment just can't be seek or achieved. Enlightenment is the moment you realized that you are already 'whole' and there's nothing for you to seek or achieve in order to gain something more. There's no need to gain more spirituality, achieve some level of enlightenment. Enlightenment is a  state of beingness, the natural state of the true self.
"The seeker seeks enlightenment not knowing that the seeker is the enlightenment"

At first, it could be required that one needs to be a seeker in order to find the unseekable. It's a natural process of evolution and also a paradox. Why? because seeking is always finding some kind of 'thing' from the external world  and the seeker always lose himself in the external seeking. Seeking involved a lot of thinking and struggle. Once you thought that you found the thing you are looking for, the next moment it has vanished. You are looking for your identify in the external world.

The external world includes your own thoughts, believing that every thought form is you. Looking for yourself in the mind.  You don't need to think about how to live your life, you just live it.

Focusing on your breathing is a great way of just being 'beingness'. As you focus on your breath, you lose the focus in your head and going down into the present moment. A natural state of peace and joy.

It does not mean you lose your thinking mind nor you lose your desires. The mind is still operating but you are not totally absorbed and believe in your thoughts, you choose your thoughts. You still have your goals and desires but you will not lose yourself in them. 'Stress' is a condition from a old state of thinking. Now in the new state of consciousness, there's joy in doing.

The mind plays a lesser role eventually as you being to surrender control and resisting/reacting. Always be aware of your complaining.

Indian tradition

I witness this event where there's these 2 indian man submerged a young indian adult under the sea water. They stayed submerged for at least a second before they are pull back up.

The ones that are going to be submerged, i can sense their nervousness and the excitement. Everyone is having fun.

Great ideas

Great ideas is not from the greatest mind but from a gracious mind.

Heart consciousness

I realized that 'thinking more' does not create solutions or rather, it can create more 'problems' and believing that you need to solve those 'problems' by thinking more and more.

I make a choice yesterday, i choose to not to make any more 'problems' nor to create any 'solutions'. I let any thoughts and emotions to be. The choice has a magical effect!

Even with 'problems' being perceived but with no reactions from me, there's this peace in me. After awhile, those problems seem to disappear on its own along with the negative emotions and pains.

Then i found the 'answer'

"The answer to fear is never to think more. It is to think less and to trust the flow of life. It is to fall back into the state of grace that is your birthright. It is to release instead of to grab hold."

Unconsciously, i have been 'struggling' to fix my 'struggle'. It is a paradox, a cycle that can only be end by un-reacting to the struggle. It needs your reaction to stay alive.

Gradually i experienced some positive changes. I am more in peace and there's no urge to control anything. I am living in grace. My sense perception grows naturally, i am being more aware of my inner and outer surroundings more. I am slowly going beyond duality of what's good and bad. I am led to new discoveries and the tiny desires i have are manifesting.

I believe this is labelled as a transition into Heart consciousness. It's not about rejecting the bad side and welcoming the good side. It's about accepting all of it without attachment nor judgement. You are not your thoughts nor emotions but being conscious of the thoughts and emotions.

I am in peace and also excited by what i can discover next.

Multi-dimensional beings

I came upon the subject of 'Multi-dimensional being'. It 'makes sense' to me that eventually all of us will be accessing different dimensions of life. The recent challenge that happened to me is a indication of what's going to change.

Currently i am guessing most of us are in the third or forth dimension where we are seeking for fulfillment in the material world whether it's consciously or unconsciously.

The divine plan is to rise ourselves to the 5th dimension. The awakening of one individual can proceed to affect the rest, this is what i believe. I don't know what 'stage' of consciousness i am in now but i have already seen the positive changes.

Day by day, i am making a habit to stay present and to be aware of my own consciousness self which is the true self instead of being lost in the mind. There are still moments of sufferings but they are getting shorter and shorter where the light of the consciousness/awareness become brighter.

Divine passion

It pops into my head.

' Real passion does not seek fulfillment of the end but enjoyment of the present doing.'

The tree

The strong wind blew the tree, The leaves swayed strongly but the root is still and silent. Only the old and the weak leaves are being dragged away by the wind. What's gone is the old and what's in the present is the new.

Thoughts

My self esteem was broken. It made me realized again that the self esteem is merely a ego or a mental image of the self. This is how people feel superior or interior based on the beliefs.

After what happened to me, i have thoughts that are telling me that i have lost, i am weak, i mean nothing to that person, i am insignificant, worthlessness. I am aware of those thoughts but the pain feelings is unavoidable. I can only accept it and let it pass. No matter how much compassion or love you have, there is no avoid for emotional pain.

Self esteem is merely a illusion but we are so in connected with that false self. Our mind will desperately seek to find reasons or to understand why but it serves to feed that false self esteem. There's no possible truth answers to be found in our mind because beliefs are always conceptual, never the truth. You don't find the truth from what you believe, it isn't rational. In cases, you reacted from those beliefs and made the wrong actions. The beliefs can be thoughts, feelings or emotions since they originated from the mind, not the heart.

When you lose something, you feel interior. When you gained something, you feel superior. If you can see it, it is a very weak sense of self that can be easily changes. Anything can bring you down easily if your sense of self comes from your esteem.

I have a 'knowing' that one has to find their 'true self'. I experienced it before several years back when i am in deep confusion. It was a beautiful awakening back then. In our human state, one may be only able to find the spiritual awakening through suffering.

Here's a good article - http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-deal-with-uncomfortable-feelings/

The reactive person

Suffering occurs when you are experiencing certain negative feelings or pain feelings. Distraction is not the key to removing sufferings, unfortunately. Distractions only serve to distract the pain, it's not healing.

You suffer not because of the negativity but because of the way you reacted. It's not easy to gasp the meaning of what i said.

'Not to react but to respond wisely'

Every time there's negativity, the first reaction is often to escape or to face it and complain/suffer about it. It is a habit of reaction that we built over time, it's a unwise reaction that we are not conscious of. The suffering is not coming from that pain but from your reaction.

Be slow to that pain feeling, breath in slowly. Be careful not to react. Then you respond that feeling with a awareness.

Knowing the words is simply not enough, practicing it is the wisest way. Suffering will prove to be your divine opening to a new life.

The strange events

I was walking alone around my garden when i saw a kid. He's squatting on the floor, his face is redish. His friends run over to him. The boy told them that he as a asthma attack, he complained to them that they shouldn't have ran. Afterwards the boy took his bag and walked away. He was fine.

The moment i saw him, my first reaction was whether i can help. And i didn't do anything in the end. Today i understand that i am not in the position to help everyone, it's not my place nor the 'right' action in the right situation to do it. Sometimes helping is not really helping.

I was doing my work in the computer when i heard the sound of the korean drama coming from the television outside. The scene is about the death of this evil character. I learned that the evil character is not entirely as evil as one seem. She does it for a 'good' purpose, to ensure that her son will be the king. She wanted her son to be happy. I realized that no one in the world is 'evil', they are only chasing after their own happiness. Their intention isn't to bring 'evil' to people but to be simply happy.

That idea is implanted deeply in my head strangely enough. Today i get to realized the truth from it.

Destruction of 'my world'

I came into my lowest point in my life. The negativity of the energies is intense enough that my world came to an end. Everything is collapsing and falling. Emotions of guilt, low self esteem, low self worthy, hatred, anger, pointless, distrust, loss and so on, i been feeling all these everyday since then. The heart is in pain, the mind is in chaos.

I need help badly but deep inside, i know that no one can help me except for myself. Because of the pain, i put myself deeply into the present moment in order to 'escape' the pain. As i keep living in the present, something changed deep inside. The pain transmute into feeling, the chaos transmute into thoughts. I am perceiving things as the way they are. Loving myself is to let go.

The space inside me grows bigger and bigger everyday. There's this unconditional peace inside me even though sometimes i am still feeling the pain but it is not that scary anymore. Wisdom will sometimes wander into me, allowing me to learn and grow. I used to be anxiety but now, i am a lot more peaceful and joyful than before even though i am in the 'lowest' point of my life.

I realized that the world that is collapsing is the 'I', the mental image of myself in my mind. It collapses. That's why i am more able to tune into something deeper than the surface. It is a blessing in disguise. In the past, i been living in my head, in my thoughts. Now i am living and conscious.

Something interesting happens on the way. All my little desires are manifesting. Somehow i am 'communicating' with higher beings through numbers, they will tell me that there's nothing to fear. Somehow i 'know' that there's a divine plan to change the world. The change has to happen to me first. The 'old' will be replaced with the new and better.

It's not enough to know the teachings, it's important to practice. Practice staying in the present. Stay with the pain and the chaos, be aware, distraction is not the answer. Not to resign but to accept those feelings. It's not to focus on why but what, then you truly see them as they truly are.

The power to change

I have been creating and thinking of new movies that i want to do these past month. I made a decision to find less work and care less about money matters & to focus on creating films that i really really want to do.

Everyone has different beliefs and ideas, i believe strangely enough that i want to do something different but not lacking the responsibility to pay for my expenses.

10 years ago, there is no iphone, the internet as today nor many many things. 10 years from now, there is a limitless possibilities that one can create, lead and inspires.

My webTv

Recently i discovered Film Annex. The website is made for film makers and every video that you submitted will be reviewed so it won't be a video about a cat making cute faces. That makes it different from youtube where your video gets lost easily.

My Webtv on film Annex

I submitted most of my videos and i am pretty happy about their system. But there's still a couple of confusing issues with their revenue statistic.

It inspires me to keep creating :)

Movies#2

Movies i watched recently

- Let the right one in
- Mission impossible 4
- Skyfall
- Taken 1 & 2
- Talented Mr Ripey
- Man of Steel

I enjoyed Mission impossible 4 and Taken. Talented Mr Ripey is not bad too.

For Man of Steel, it's one of the worse movies i ever seen. The director doesn't know how to pace his movie?

Watering the movies

A list of movies that i watched this month, most are american films.

Memento
American psycho
Gran Torino
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
Forrest Gump
Amilie (french)
Goth (japan)
Se7en
Fight Club
The mist
The machinist

The memorable ones are Memento, Gran Torino and Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

Learn, understand

Getting into the technical stuffs, human stuffs of writing a story. It's easy to make a story but not so on making it great. Story is made up of ideas, great ideas can make it good but it's just not enough. I am not impress with 'arty' movies/films. I want something clever and also invoking the thinking mind behind the eyeballs.

I don't feel like i am 'working hard' to achieve the kind of standard i want. All of the work, learning and understanding seem natural for me, it's not work but play for me. I enjoy understanding and applying what i learned. I enjoy making the impact that i wanted it to be.

Once, i told my girlfriend that I wish to be a director but everything changes over time. Now I never think that i wanted to be a director but rather i really want to make movies and let lots and lots of people to watch it. The rewards of any films are always the audiences' reaction & anticipation.

Sigmund Fred

I read about Sigmund Freud who said to be a founding father of psychoanalysis. He created the terms of ID, Superego and Ego.



A better understanding of human behaviors and the unconsciousness.

Reality or really weird

Browse some crowdfunding projects on films and 3d animations, realized that 3d films are not doing well even if some of the authors are big award winning filmmakers, maybe quite popular too.

There's not enough marketing for their films or is it that their target audience groups are smaller. But personally, i feel that even after watching their intro videos, i don't really understand what's the film is about. It does shows that the graphics of the film is looking good but there's no vital information of the story and characters. Appearances never last. Then, some projects still manage to fund successfully so you can never tell.

'Normal' updated ~The family

The characters from 'Normal' indie film.

Throughout the creating process, i only focus on making sure that the characters look good, their appearance shouldn't be too casual.

The modeling process really speeds up thanks to the free MakeHuman.

Right now or rather through the whole film making process, i am always continuing on to improve the story. There's always a theme and making it ties cleverly with the events & making sense is challenging but that's what makes this film different from the rest.

It is not as Normal as the title is.

The way of the wolf

Wake up one morning and saw this show talking about the success of J.W Rowling for her harry potter. Only 6 years later after her books, success found her.

As long as you don't give up, as long as you don't stop, just keep believing.

'Normal' updated maya HAIR

Here's the hair for my short film ' Normal'. It is created using maya hair system.

I never thought of using maya hair because of how troublesome it is to get it right but lately, i saw a blog by にぽろぐ.

http://nipo1987.blog46.fc2.com/

Amazing works and wonderful looking hair. I looked through the posts, finding the word 'maya hair' popping up. Translated some of the posts and manage to get some understanding on how he did it, and then with a number of experiments i done myself.

Also followed this youtube video on maya hair.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqESZxNdSd0

So far, that's the result that i am pleased with. Haven't deal with the animation yet.

Free realistic human model creator!

For quite some time, I am searching through the web for ways to create fast human characters that has good topology. I found some good models that can be edit further using zbrush and then i came across the human zbuilder which is apparently for 3ds max only and it is not free.

Luckily i found this one..., The Human Maker.

http://www.makehuman.org/

Here's what i create in less than 15 minutes

Easily customizable to create your human character and the best of all, it's free to use for your games, films.

Good stuffs :)

New animated short

I am creating a new 3d animated short based on my 2d flash animation that i have done in 2010.

Hellami episode 2 

For this 3d short, i am trying some new things. First it is rendered entirely in Element 3D, a after effects plugin by video copilot. The workflow is pretty confusing to get it working but so far, i have handled it pretty okay. Real time lighting with real time animation :)

A test version with no textures. One spot light using AE light

Copy/paste Animations

Found a useful script that allows the copying and pasting animations.

Follow this thread to find the script on the 11sec fourm.

DkAnim

Pros - copy and paste animation from txt file. Save alot of work.

Cons- Your controls mus have the same name and the scale shouldn't be too large of a different.


How to use it?

Copy it into maya script folder.

Import it to shelf.

Press the icon. And type 'dkAnim' in Mel

Film and anime film

This few weeks, i have been busy with working and finding work. But i am making progresses with my new film 'Normal' everyday. It just keeps getting better and better but the film will be longer and longer as i add in new things. The core of the story is still there but the way i am doing it has been changing.

Kiki's Delivery Service

I watched this one yesterday and i can said that it is excellent. There is a certain tone in this film, it doesn't aim to be dramatic or epic but rather, it is based on a realistic journey of a witch traveling to find a new home.

It is magical that i find myself involved in the characters, the lifestyle of the witch and the magical moments of flight. As what i said eariler, it doesn't make itself over seriousness and it is a good thing that sets itself apart from other animes and animations.

Hayao Miyazaki interview

A interesting interview with the creator of Spirited away, Hayao Miyazaki.

Easy AO in maya

It's a easy trick in rendering AO along with in your rendering. I don't mean rendering it in a separate layer or pass but together with your normal render.

Simply plug your AO shader into your material - Ambient color slot.

A nice little trick :)

Independent/indie film DEV character sketch

Thinking about the height of the characters. Since they are teenagers, they shouldn't be too tall nor big but Nina will be taller.  

Then i started a simple sketch of the body, keeping in mind of the proportions. Going for a realistic body look.

'Normal' Film facebook page

'Normal Film google plus page
 

3D characters first look(independent/indie 3d film)

'Normal' Independent/Indie 3D film.

The main characters, Richard & Nina. It is a sudden jump from 2d sketches to 3D but in the next few weeks, i am going to show more of the process that leads to the creation of the characters.

Google Plus page (new!)
Facebook Page

So far what do you think of them?

Digital Character animation 2

Bought the second hand book for 0.99 on amazon. So far, after several months, i haven't finish reading it yet.

Just to reveal the contents, it covers a wide variety of topics. There's the character animation for humans and animals. Acting techniques, rigging, story, real  world production and a section for games.

To add a point, this book is not about learning  to use the softwares for animation.

Mayan

'Pixey' character animation breakdown

Here's one of the animation scene from 'Pixey'.

If you played it, the characters looks as if he is doing a robot dance. Actually, the character is in his key poses. No movement at all, just poses. In Maya, you will have to convert the keys to stepped mode to see the robot dance. Go to preferences - animation - default out tangent - stepped. or select all your keyframes, right click - tangent - stepped.

Why in stepped? There are a few reasons. One is to judge the timing/pacing of the animation, the other is work related. When your supervisor/director wants to see your shot, gives him the stepped version and they can judge it. It saves time and unnecessary effort.



The animation for this one is smoothed out. The mode is set to either linear or spline. They work fine.

 The movement is there. There are poses between the key poses that set the motion. These poses between key poses are my primary breakdowns. They are extremely important, they are the ones that show how your character is moving. After that, is secondary breakdowns between the primary breakdowns.

I will playblast my animation and view it multiple times. During this time, i will note down anything that require change. The process will go over and over again.

Note that the process i am describing here is very rough. There are alot more things to take note such as the 9 principles of animations, etc ease in/out, weights, poses, action line, acting.

A few of sketches for 'Normal' independent film. The main character is called Richard. Wearing a trapper cap. 

Feel that trapper fits him because it hides his face, a shy person.

Visit 'Normal' page here

"Normal" independent film sketches

One of the first art direction test. I am aiming for a dreamy, stylish look. The problem with most 3d animation is that they look precisely like 3d animation.

The challenge is to look more film/movie-like. Another challenge is the rendering time but for this one, it took me 11 seconds per frame rendering with a 3 year old laptop. It is acceptable for me.

Before that, i been finding ways to do things differently. Such as using non-rendering way which still not yet known, & moving the camera in real time which i still can't find a efficient way.

Visit "Normal" page

Arnold's Fantasy Land from Pixey

 

Here's the foggy land scene from 'Pixey'. Watch it here.

There are some very simple geometry that made up the scene and a pretty complicated model such as the statue at the back. The background is a normal plane with a sky texture plugged into the incandescence. I will talk more about the statue someday. 

Callison describes to me that this environment resemblance the mind of Arnold. The green plants are shaped like Arnold's hair.

The lighting setup. I used only 2 lights for it. The right one(directional light) is the key light or my main light. It is casting ray traced shadow. The second light on the left(area light) is casting the rim light. Shadows set to ray traced. It is meant to add more form and also to separate objects from the background. 

 This is rendered with mental ray with no GL or final gather. The final shot is being composited in After Effects. In this case, not much of compositing is happening. The original lighting in Maya does most of the work in setting up the mood.

There's one really cool technique that can make your rendering looks better. It's not about the lighting but with the materials instead. I will share it someday too.

Here's Pixey facebook page

The Pixey fund raise

Auto Rigging Ready

Rigging, probably the least fun you can have. On par with UV wrapping in Maya. On creative crash website, you can search for free auto-rig scripts that can make the workflow ten times faster.

Advanced Skeleton

It is pretty well known free auto-rig. You can try it but personally, i have problems understanding it because i lack the patience. You can visit their facebook page to get the tutorials.

Other free scripts.

There are more free ones but some require you to buy to upgrade it.

Paid Auto-Rig Tools

The Setup Machine

I tried it and personally i really like it. It is efficient and easy to use. The skeletons and controls are created for you . On top of that, auto-skinning/weights is applied to your character. The rigging time is cut to just...10 minutes?

The only 'flaw' TSM has is that it doesn't do facial rigging. But there's the Face Machine.

The Face Machine

As good as TSM. Fast and surprising simple to use. Highly recommend for rigging and animation. Sometimes there are problems such as the eyes doesn't blink correctly. Well I can just use blendshapes to fix that area.