Self

When i remember the past, during my teenage years, NS, art school, there are different faces of me. But i can't seem to relate very much to my past selves now.

The past selves is sort of like a superficial appearances that always changes and  a lack of spiritual awareness. If i were to compare the me in the now to the past, the biggest changes is spiritual awareness.

Spiritual Awareness is a awakening or the one who knows their true self. With this awareness, it is as if there's no self but there is. It is a paradox.

Morning

Suffering comes from non acceptance of what is happening or it can be cause from the mind's interpretation of events.

Just this morning, i experienced a intense sense of feeling absolutely bad and low sense of self worth. In the old egoic self, normally one will react greatly to it, as if what you are feeling means the absolutely truth. But in the new state of being, one can stay present with that bad feeling, soon it will past and it will takes some time.

Once you get used to the new state of being, thoughts and emotions will not bother you as much because you have practiced being acceptance of them. You are aware of having those unpleasant thoughts and emotions but you wont be enslaved to them believing that they are absolutely real or true.

Gradually, spaces of stillness and quietness began to open up and you are connected to the source of life. But the process is always being connected and disconnected until one day, you are fully connected to the source which is the flow of life. Just allow the process to unfold by itself.

Vocal recording event

Went to this vocal recording event which is a tutorial on recording your voice and then alter it to become a song with music. Perhaps i can get some knowledge on voice recording when i need to live record voice actors in future.

The process is pretty interesting, there are a lot of children lining up to sing against the microphone. One of the kids covers his ear when he heard his own voice through the computer.

Some points-

If using a smartphone to record sounds, the sounds will lack highs and lows because it cannot capture them. But if using a standard microphone, it will capture the highs and lows, meaning the full range is there.

There's this instrument called zoomh4n which might be good for sound recording.

Day

I feel that my 'life' may perhaps be different from what is perceived as normal in our society. Since what happened a year ago, everything changes, broken down. I can sense that everything that happened meant to bring a growth to the inner level rather than the exterior level. On the surface, i maybe jobless, feeling alone and empty but on the inner level, there's this arising of consciousness and healing involved.

New movie in the making

I am in the process of making the story of this new movie. It is something different from what i have finished. The movie has quite a lot of characters' talking and their inner thoughts. I have difficulties in creating the story but it also allows me to learn what is missing or what is truly important in a movie.

I studied and read some books and films to get some knowledge. Story-making may perhaps be a kind of paradox, there are certain rules that we can follow such as making a beginning, middle and end but these kind of rules kinda make the story less interesting and predictable.

One more thing is creating a character having a desire. With desire, there's action and story. But it may be too typical unless the character has a unusual desire along with unpredictable events.


I think that no matter how much our technology evolves, the heart is still the most important element in story-telling.

Future is Now

Went through my day with creating this animatics for a personal short film. Days before, i was stuck because there's something wrong with the story or should i say that there's no story but only a series of events.

In the evening, i suddenly have a urge of remaining silence and still. Then, i realized a wisdom. The wisdom is the future is now. Instead of focusing on creating a better future, why not create a better now moment. The future is always be now.

Piece of work

This is a piece of animated scene from a short film that i haven't finished yet. I am currently putting it off till a more suitable time.

The environment is a photo taken from my smartphone and cleanup in photoshop. While the characters are 3d and the effects/colors were added in after effects.

It is a new way of doing things for me and it is very inspiring to take real places. On top of that, i do not need to model any environment. Though, the cleaning part takes some work. Some of the texture, for example the old wall has to be replace with another texture i found online. The reason is because of the quality of my original photo. It is not easy to take a 'quality' photo with a smartphone.

Her's some of the photos i taken.

Right now, i am preparing for another short film that makes use of this technique. It is pretty exciting!

Journal-ing

I think i try to write something in order to motivate myself. 'My life' seem to get stuck in this gray zone for quite some time. But during this period, there may not be any material gain, there is alot of space for spiritual growth.

I realized that my inner resistance and struggles seem to be lesser, almost none. At times, i may be stressed about my current circumstances but they seem to have less impact on me because i have see through those recurring patterns that does not serve me any positive purpose.